As I stood in the empty kitchen
I began to feel someone watching
Me from behind my left shoulder.
My back was to the wall,
With only the stove behind
I was alone.
Still I turned to look.
I felt the sense but closer.
I shook my head,
The left side felt Heavy Numb.
I heard the sound of Empty
Within the Heavy Numb.
I turned again
Just me
And realised what is happening.
I must ignore this Nothing
Because I know it is Nothing.
But this Nothing has a presence.
It compresses,
Creates a vacuum.
I finished what I was doing.
I turned towards the bin
And walked in to the wall,
The bin was where it had always been
Yet I hadn’t turned that way.
It was an effort
To turn to the bin
Look that way and move to it
But I did, it was good.
Time to sit for a while.
As I left the kitchen I tripped on the rug
The corner was turned up
Which was unusual but explained
Why I tripped
Except the rug
Was in another room
Where it always has been
The corners are flat.
“I’m having a seizure.”,
“Are you sure?”
“Do I have an audience on my left shoulder?”
“I’m sure.”
Tried to make a salad.
“I don’t think you should use a knife.”
“I’m holding a spoon.”
As the blade opened my thumb
I was calm
Accepting my hubris
The bandage was on before
Too much blood escaped.
Sitting I ran the neurology obs;
Face, hands, speech, sight
Fine motor skills, coordination, balance
I will be fine.
It will pass.
This partial focal seizure.


  1. mkingr 02/12/2014 at 9:36 am

    I hope that you are ok. I really like your new site and your honesty about your experience. You are very insightful, an inspiration, & a strong woman. I’m sorry you have to go through all of this.

    • Chevron Spots 03/12/2014 at 6:17 pm

      I am okay, thank you. Thank you also for your kind words. I feel exactly the same about your writing and so I appreciate the kind words and thoughts. As always with myself, and possibly for anyone that has learned resilience the hard way, the struggles this year from the Cerebral Vasculitis and resulting stroke-style seizures have had an impact but I haven’t let them distract me from the ‘bigger picture’ or diminish my optimism and positive outlook. If anything I have found more beauty and my appreciation of everything in this world has been renewed tenfold.

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